


Red Is the Strongest Color

by ellesse



Category: Free!, The Scarlet Letter - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Adultery, Angst, Attempted Abortion, Depression, Domestic Disputes, Drama, F/M, Multi, One-Sided Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Relationship Issues, Surrogacy, haha rin is suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellesse/pseuds/ellesse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few years after Rin wins an Olympic gold medal, he decides to take a break from swimming and return to Iwatobi only to find out that his little sister is pregnant. And she refuses to tell the name of the father, throwing the town of Iwatobi in chaos. Inspired by The Scarlet Letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic on this site, yeah! (I have no idea how this submission system works) I miiiight post this on ff.net but, I'm not sure yet. The submitting process is a lot more complicated on This is inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter and Lucy Kay's Her Scarlet Letter (which I highly recommend reading, especially for you Harvest Moon fans out there). Update: Finally thought of the a better title!
> 
> Summary: Basically everyone's settled down and married, save for Gou, whose fiance, Seijuurou, has yet to come back from America, and Rin, who is in a complicated (very one sided relationship) with Sousuke. Rin decides to take a break and move back to Iwatobi with Sousuke and finds out Gou is pregnant. Very much like The Scarlet Letter, Gou refuses to tell anyone the father of her child, which throws the boys and town into chaos.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Daddy, how would you describe red?”

“Daddy, how would you describe red?” A little girl asks her father one day.

Her father looks at the girl, before pointing to her messy red hair, “It's the color of your hair. And it's the strongest color.” He explains, letting the laughing little girl crawl into his lap.

“How come it's the strongest color?” She asks, red eyes filled with curiosity.

“It reminds me of your mother.” A sad smile comes across his face as he speaks, causing the girl to gently hold her father's hand.

“Daddy, was mama strong?” The girl asks.

He nods, “She was very strong, all the way to the end.” He squeezes his daughter's hand back, “Your mother was beautiful, sweet, and the best mother she could possibly be. You probably don't remember her.”

“I remember her a little. She smelled like strawberries.” The girl whispers, her little fingers tracing over her father's hand. “She always smiled.” She pauses for a moment, “What was mama's name?”

The man hesitates, before looking down at the child, who looked at him expectantly. “Gou.”

“Gou?” She repeats. He nods and the girl smiles, “That's a pretty name.”

It was silent between the two for a moment, until the girl spoke up again. “Daddy, why are you crying?”

He laughs sheepishly, wiping a tear, “I'm just thinking about your mother. I really loved her, y'know.”

“I love mama too.” The girl yawns and snuggles closer to the man, “She's red.”

“Red?” He echoes and the girl nods sleepily.

“You just said,” She yawns again, closing her eyes, “Red is the strongest color.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be updated once or twice in the next few days and then be put on a two-week hiatus until I come back from vacation. (Even then, updates will be slow because I only have three/four chapters completed.) I would very much appreciate any constructive criticism and reviews~ :)


	2. ii. the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin finds out his little sister is pregnant.

Matsuoka Gou was pregnant.

Rin couldn’t believe that his little sister, who had just graduated college, was pregnant. He couldn’t believe that his younger sister had been active, nor could he imagine her bearing someone’s child. In fact, Rin refused to believe that he had found a positive pregnancy test while taking out the garbage one night.

At first, he was confused as to why such a device was even in the Matsuoka household; there was no possible way that the women living in the house would be pregnant. His mother definitely couldn’t be pregnant; she was far too busy with work and she would never sleep with another man. (He knew this for a fact; his mother was hopelessly in love with his father and even after his untimely death, she would stay loyal to him.) Then, that only left Gou. His sweet, innocent little sister, Gou. Despite her love for muscles, the girl didn’t have any experience with men, or love for that matter. She was so oblivious when it came to love and dating, Rin found no reason to ever teach her about it. (Rin had to admit that the Mikoshiba brothers’ constant attempts to get with her and her stark obliviousness was getting annoying.) That being said, Gou rarely spoke to him about these things; most of their conversations usually involved swimming. He rarely bothered to ask about her personal life unless she had brought it up first. (Rin knew he could be a terrible older sibling at times, but God, he didn't realize it was _that_ bad.)

A day after finding the item, Rin paced around his bedroom, holding the lilac-colored pregnancy test in his hands, he started to think of how he was going to approach his sister about the subject. A sigh of annoyance escaped his lips as he fell onto his bed, a hand in his red hair.

“Brother, are you feeling alright?” Gou poked her into his bedroom, “I've been calling your name non-stop for the past five minutes– Hey, what's that in your hand?”

Rin had panicked of course and had no idea what to do with the test, other than hold it out in plain sight.

His sister’s eyes grew wide in fear and she moved further into the room, “W-Where did you find that?” She asked in a shaky tone. She moved to take the purple item, but Rin moved, inches away from her grasp. When she realized she wasn’t going to get it from him anytime soon, she stepped back, fidgeting nervously.

The ex-swimmer composed himself and folded his arms over his chest, “Is it yours?” He asked. Gou stiffened and avoided her brother's gaze. “Gou... I found this in the trash yesterday. It can't be mom, so the only plausible person is you. Gou...” He began, licking his lips, “Are you pregnant?”

“...” Of course she wasn't going to respond.

Rin moved forward, putting a hand on her head. “It's okay, Gou. Everyone makes mistakes. Mom doesn't even have to know if you get an abor–”

He was cut off by a squeak from his younger sister, who then proceeded to put her face on his chest, sobbing. “I-I don't wanna k-kill it!” “Gou you don't have the time to have a child, let alone raise one.” He paused for a moment, letting the girl cry into his tear-soaked shirt.

Minutes later, the tears stopped and she wiped her nose, sitting on her brother's bed. Rin could only watch, thinking about his next choice of words. “Who's the father?”

“I can't tell you.” Was her terse response.

“Gou, did some pervert mess with you? Was it that Mikoshiba idiot?” He demanded, clenching his fists, “I'm gonna–”

“No, brother! It wasn't him... He hasn’t been here in years... I mean, I just can't tell you, okay?” She looked at him with pleading eyes.

Rin could only stare back, arms folded over his chest. “Alright, don't tell me then.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Well, little sis, I'm your brother, and I love you. We'll get through this, okay?” He pulled her into a hug.

Gou snuggled into his chest, a small smile on her face, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to rewrite the prologue and make this chapter two instead.


	3. iii. atonement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gou starts dealing with the side-effects of her pregnancy, while reuniting with a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, nice! I couldn't sleep and this chapter was already done, so I might as well upload it!

The next day, Gou told her mother of her situation and she didn’t take it well. The woman was hysterical and kept questioning what their father would’ve done.

It wasn't surprising that his mother was reluctant to keep the child. Matsuoka Mariko had married and had her children young. It was hard staying in school and taking care of two children, but with a little hard work and hope, Mariko made it through.

“Don't you want an abortion?” She asked for the umpteenth time.

“For the last time mama, the father and I want to keep the baby. Mama, pl–”

“I did not spend twenty-three years of my life raising you to just get pregnant!” Mariko yelled, cutting off her daughter, “What about college? Didn't you want to become a teacher? It's hard taking care of a baby and going to school.”

“Mama, I don't want to argue with you. I'm keeping this baby and that's final.” Gou finally said in a stern, but gentle tone.

The tension in the air was still high, despite the silence between the two women.

It was Mariko who has finally spoken up.

“I didn't raise you to just embarrass me and your father. Toraichi would be asha–”

“Dad is dead, mama! How would you know how he'd feel?” Her voice cracked, “How would you know...” Tears streamed down her face as she began to sob uncontrollably.

Mariko looked like she had been slapped in the face. Numbly, she reached out to her daughter, barely grasping her shirt. “I'm so sorry baby... I'm sorry...” She whispered, tears building up.

“Mama, I'm sorry too!” The girl cried, burying her face in mother's blouse. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry...” She kept mumbling, squeezing her mother tight.

Her mother cooed and hushed, stroking her daughter's red locks. “Shh, shh, it's okay, Gou. It's okay.”

* * *

 

Things were not okay. Rumors quickly began to spread about the ex-manager. Soon, the whole town knew about their very own _‘Scarlet Letter’_. The rumors ranged from the whereabouts of the baby's father to bigger ones, such as how she had “always been a whore”. Unfortunately, the bigger rumors were the most popular.

It was shocking to the people of Iwatobi because Matsuoka Gou, daughter of the deceased and kind-hearted fisherman Matsuoka Toraichi, and sister to Matsuoka Rin, the Olympic champion, seemed to be the type of girl who dreamed big and went far. That's what she had told everyone, at least.

Matsuoka Gou wanted to be a scientist, a doctor, or maybe even a politician. As a child, she used to tell everyone that she was going to change the world. And everyone believed her too. They were proud to see the girl graduate and they were even prouder when she announced that she wanted to be a teacher.

When they found out that the Matsuoka girl was pregnant, many of the townspeople were disappointed in her, to say the least. The girl kept saying that she was still going to become a teacher, there would just be a few bumps in the way.

Unfortunately, no one believed her. In fact, many people began detesting the girl for her infidelity. Many believed she was impure and foolish for having a child at such a young age. That, and having a child before marriage? It was despicable.

Gou didn't mind the rumors. They were rumors after all. She didn't mind answering their questions and always enjoyed the perplexed look on people's faces when they asked about the father of the baby.

The father. That was the big question. Many people knew she had the manager of the local high school swim team. She wasn't known for being boy crazy, but she did spend a lot of time around them. Everyone knew that she was a muscle fanatic, but she had never been romantically involved with anyone.

It had been particularly awkward for the boys when they heard the news of Gou's sudden pregnancy. They all knew about the baby's unknown father and knew that all of the arrows pointed to one of them.

The father of the baby had to be one of the boys, even though they were all happily married. If she was pregnant, then one of them hadn't been loyal and slept with her. Of course, everyone had acted very happy for their friend, while secretly wondering who the father is. Even after high school, she still spent an awful lot of time with them. So it _had_ to be one of them, right?

But, Gou wouldn't tell. She wouldn't even tell her own brother. No one would know. And she would keep it that way.

* * *

 

Gou decided that mornings were the worst. She definitely wasn't morning person and she was sure she wasn't a morning person now.

On this particular morning, Gou found herself on the bathroom floor, head on the edge of toilet seat. She groaned; the constant "morning" sickness (that ironically seemed to plague her all day) was the worst symptom of her pregnancy. Only five weeks along and it felt like it had been _months_.

“It’s going to be a long nine months.” Gou muttered, before heaving into the toilet again.

Rin had moved out into his own place, much to his mother's and sister's reluctance. He said it was embarrassing to live with his mother, but also promised to visit Gou as much as possible.

Gou spent most of her days alone and at home, with her mother and brother constantly calling her whenever possible. She liked to pass her time reading; her grandmother had a collection of books she'd found in the attic. There was tons of photo albums, cookbooks, and she even found a few classical novels. It seemed her grandmother especially enjoyed classic American novels; _The Great Gatsby_ was her favorite so far.

As she reclined in the living room, a pile of books beside her and _The Great Gatsby_ in her lap, her peace and quiet was interrupted by a knock on the door. Gou sighed, looking over at the clock. It was already past noon and Rin had just visited her an hour ago. She groaned; he couldn’t possibly be back again, could he?

“Coming!” Gou threw off her blanket and moved to the door, swinging it open. “Rin, for the last time I told you, I’m fi– Oh.”

Standing at her front door was none other than Mikoshiba Seijuurou himself. His arm was raised, as if her was going to knock again and he was holding a bouquet of flowers. His wild orange hair had grown out and it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. She hated when he did that, because the stubble made him look creepy.

The two stood there in silence, staring at each other, before Gou coughed, breaking him out of his trance.

“Gou.” He nodded at the young woman. “It’s been a while.” He looked her up and down, causing the girl to blush. Realizing he was staring her down, he held out the flowers. “Uh, h-here!”

“Thank you.” He didn't seem to know she was pregnant yet.  She forced a smile and opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by a sudden bout of sickness. Covering her mouth, she immediately turned and ran to the bathroom, before vomiting up the little contents of her stomach. (The sight of food made her ill; she had to force herself to drink tea this morning.)

Seijuurou was behind her, patting her back and offering her water. Shakily accepting the bottle, she took a swig and laid her head on Seijuurou's chest.

“Gou.” He said in a tone she'd never heard before. She looked up at him and he was looking away from her. “...Are you pregnant?” He asked.

She stiffened. So he did know, after all. She sighed, “Yes.”

“You told me you’d wait for me.” He said, voice filled with hurt.

She couldn't even look at him.

* * *

 

_Three Years Ago_

_“Are you sure I can’t come with you, Sei-kun?” Gou asked. The two had taken the train up to Tokyo and Sei was at the bus terminal, waiting for the airport bus to come._

_“I’m going to America, Gou. You’re finishing up college. It’s only gonna be for a year, we can make it work.” Seijuurou pulled her close, taking a whiff of her hair. It smelled like strawberries and chlorine. God, he was gonna miss her smell._

_The girl underneath him sniffled and wrapped her arms around him, “I don’t want you to go, Sei. Please. You can’t leave me like Rin did, you’re just gonna forget about me and come back and act like I don’t exist! You’re gonna forget me!” Tears formed  in her eyes, “Please don’t leave me.”_

_Putting a hand on her head, he sighed, “This is what I signed up for when I got this job, Gou. I promise I’ll call you every day, okay?”_

_“Mm-hmm.” She sounded like a child as she clutched onto his shirt, wiping her tears._

_“Promise you’ll wait for me, Gou-kun?” He teased her with that stupid nickname from high school._

_Gou stopped crying and punched her boyfriend in the chest, “It’s been years and you still call me that stupid nickname! You’re so annoying!” Her angered expression turned into a soft one, “I’m really gonna miss you. Are you sure you have to go?” She asked, placing her head in the crook of his neck._

_“Yeah, I do.” He said, smiling to himself. He really was going to miss the love of his life. “Hey, Gou?”_

_“Mm?”_

_“So you'll wait for me, right?”_

_She gave him a smile, “Of course.”_

_The bus pulled up and Seijuurou picked his bags. Gou paled and gripped his shirt harder, not wanting to let go. Tears began to spill as she watched her boyfriend get on the bus._

_The bus began to pull away and Gou began to sob and Seijuurou couldn't do anything but watch. He stood up suddenly, opening the bus window and leaning over the poor man next to him._

_Poking his head out the window, he yelled, “Gou!”_

_A teary-eyed Gou looked up at the sound her name._

_“Will you marry me?” He yelled, grinning triumphantly._

_A blush came across Gou's face and she smiled, before cupping her hands around her mouth, “Yes!”_

_As soon as Seijuurou landed in America, he lived up to his promise and called Gou. The girl picked up immediately and he called her every day to tell her about what he was doing. Every day they called and talked about anything, from wedding plans to little things like how Americans ask the most ridiculous questions about Japan._

_On her college graduation day, the boys managed to pull a few strings and livestreamed the entire ceremony through a video call and surprised Gou with it. She cried the entire time they talked._

_Unfortunately, the good times didn't last. Sei started forgetting to call and didn't even pick up at times. (“I'm busy.” He'd say, “I'll call you later.” He never did.) When he did pick up, they always seemed to argue, with one of them angrily hanging up mid-call. They grew frustrated until one day, he just stopped calling. He stopped answering her messages and calls; she even wrote him mail once and they were always sent back, unopened. The day he was supposed to come home, he never did._

_“Just like Rin.” She murmured, crumpling up the returned, unopened letter. Her arms fell to her side, the now balled-up letter rolling to under the bed. “You jerk.”_

* * *

 

_Present Day_

The two found themselves standing in the kitchen, facing each other in silence. They avoided each other's gaze, until Gou finally spoke up.

“You,” she sucked in a deep breath, “You told me to wait, and I did. Why did you stop answering my calls? I waited and waited for you to come back.” She clenched her fists, “I want to the damn airport and waited for _four_ hours, Sei.” Her voice faltered, “I hoped that once you came back, we would get married and everything would be okay.”

“I–”

“Why come back now?” She asked, balling her hands into fists. “I thought you ran off with some American girl and forgot about me. Was that it? Did you cheat on me? Got some stupid American girl pregnant?” She was beginning to act irrational, as her voice rose, “Did you come here to say you're getting married and leaving me–”

“I got laid off, Gou.” He finally said.

“What?”

“Six months in, they laid me off. I couldn't go back to Japan, because I didn't have enough money to get a ticket and I didn't wanna let you down. The company stopped paying for my housing and I was out on the streets. I had to take up odd jobs for two years just for a ticket to get here.”

“Why didn't you call me? Rin would’ve gladly paid–”

He slammed his fist in the table, causing Gou to yelp in surprise. “I didn't want to make you feel bad. I wanted to make you proud when I came back.” He looked away, “I can't borrow things from people, you know that.”

“Mmh.”

There was another pregnant pause before Seijuurou spoke up again. “Rin told me. I came to his place before I came here. I didn't believe him.” He chuckled, “So, who's the father?”

“I can't tell you.” Was her blunt response. “It's the father's choice to tell and so far he refuses to tell.”

He nodded, “That's so typical of you, Gou. Covering up your mistakes–”

Gou raised her hand to slap him, but he caught her hand before she could hit him across the face. “Don't ever call my child a mistake, you.... you bastard!”

Seijuurou dropped her hand and raised a brow at her sudden use of language. “Bastard? I'm not the one who's carrying a bastard child.”

“At least I wasn't so stubborn to the point that I was homeless! You're such an idiot!” She yelled.

“At least I was loyal!”

“I hate you!”

The argument had grown to a peak and the two redheads stared at each other, breathing hard. Sweat glistened on his forehead, as was hers. Their hair was a mess and the two of them had same the same angry, glazed-over look in their eyes.

Suddenly, Gou found herself kissing the man she just told she hated. Sei didn't even hesitate to kiss her back. They had missed out on three years of their life together. Three years of missed birthdays, stolen kisses, and late nights of cuddling under the blankets, talking about their future together.

They kissed once, twice, three times.... Gou lost count. They moved from the kitchen to the living room couch and from the couch to the floor. After what felt like an eternity of kisses and murmuring sweet nothings, Gou put her body against Seijuurou's, spooning like they used to.

“I'm sorry.” She murmured, putting her head in the crook of his neck, just like how she used to.

“I'm sorry too.” He stroked her hair, and took a deep whiff of her hair. Still smelled like strawberries and faintly of chlorine. “I still love you.”

“I know.” Was her solemn response.

He sighed, realizing that he had hurt her and lost her trust. Burying his face in her hair, he asked, “Do you think we... could start over?”

Gou didn't respond for a moment. “I think... We could. It'll take some time, but I think we could. We could try.”

“Mm.” He squeezed her tight, his hand brushing over the small bump in her abdomen. The woman next to him shuddered and he rested his hand right beneath her breasts. “And the baby?”

“I'll figure it out.” She paused, “And Seijuurou?”

“Hn?”

“Do yourself a favor and shave that stubble for me. It makes you look dirty.”

* * *

Days later, Gou realized the flowers Seijuurou had given her were lilies. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that don't know, lilies represent motherhood.
> 
> So, people leave kudos instead of reviews? Or is there both? I dunno, something like that. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated! :) One or two more chapters to come before Wednesday.


	4. iv. reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gou reconciles with an old friend while Rin tries his best to mend his relationship with Sousuke.

It had been two weeks since the return of her ex-boyfriend. It seemed that Seijuurou was intent on winning her heart back and she didn't mind. (Her hormones made her horny 24/7 and Sei didn't mind helping her out with that.) Unfortunately, he wasn't around often because he found a job and it made him work all day. It paid well, he claimed.

Other than visits from her (kinda) ex-boyfriend, Rin still visited twice a day, asking if she needed anything. Sometimes, Sousuke (Rin's roommate/boyfriend??) would tag along, usually giving Gou a curt nod. Chigusa came over a lot too and usually told her best friend the wild rumors she would hear about Gou. Other than those three, she rarely got visits from the rest of the boys. She'd assumed they were busy, until she decided to go to the store one day to pick up some groceries.

“Oh! Haruka, I thought you were busy today.” Gou said to the black-haired swimmer.

Haruka didn't respond and instead pushed right past her, which really irked her.

Reaching out to him, she started to speak. “Hey, Haru–”

He spun around suddenly, blue eyes boring into her. With a hint of reluctance, he said, “We... We can't talk anymore. I'm sorry, Gou.” And with that, he turned around and left.

“Oh.” Gou dropped her hand nodded, watching the ex-swimming disappear in the store.

 

It wasn't until a week after that, Nagisa appeared at her front door. “Kou! It's been awhile, eh? I know Rei said I shouldn't be visiting you, but I really don't care. You're my friend and that's all that matters.”He pulled the redhead into a hug, before letting go and digging around his briefcase. “Oh, I got you this.”

Before she could protest about her name (she'd finally gotten over her 'boyish name', but Nagisa still seemed to enjoy his childish games), pulled out a maternity t-shirt with a picture of baby peeking out and Gou couldn't help but laugh uncomfortably. “Oh wow, Nagisa. Thanks.” She said dryly.

He gave his friend a mischievous grin, “I knew you would like it, haha. But,” his voice lowered, “It's a shame people are treating you like this. Rei, Haru, and Mako are acting so paranoid. They've all turned on each other, it's so awkward when we hang out.”

“Oh. I see.” Gou said solemnly. Her pregnancy was tearing their friendships apart.

Nagisa interrupted her train of thought, “Well, it was nice talking to you, Gou-chan! I'll try to visit you again soon!”

Gou shut the door and sighed, tossing the shirt to the side. “You're already causing so much trouble and you're not even born yet.” A bitter laugh escaped her lips as she wiped a tear, “I hope I'm not regretting this.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Rin was still moving in with Sousuke. He and Sousuke had become close in the past few years, as Sousuke had been his manager and trainer. Sousuke was the one to ask Rin to move in with him during their stay in Iwatobi and he accepted, of course.

Rin had known Sousuke for years and he was probably one of, if not the only, person he could always confide in. He trusted Sousuke and Sousuke trusted him. Rin had to admit, his feelings for Sousuke had changed over the years.

When they were in elementary school, Rin kissed Sousuke, which would put any young boy in shock. Any nine year old would be surprised to have someone, let alone a boy, kiss him. He'd upset Sousuke that day and the black-haired boy asked him to never think of him like that again.

Rin couldn't help that he felt about  boys in that way and his feelings on the subject got worse when he went to Australia. He was confused a lot and he didn't like it that one time when his friends forced him to go out with a girl that liked him. They had a dinner and an awkward goodbye, but they never went out again. When he kissed the girl, it reminded him of Sousuke.

It wasn't for years that Sousuke ever recognized Rin's feelings for him until the two returned to their hotel room after an off day of swimming. Rin was upset and he went and kissed his friend out of anger. Sousuke surprisingly returned the kiss, but said nothing about it the next day.

Then, without warning, Sousuke started sleeping with Rin and Rin didn't mind since he got to be closer to Sousuke. All his black-haired lover asked was to keep their relationship a secret and Rin was happy to oblige. He would do anything to be with Sousuke.

Rin was happy to take a break from swimming and to spend more time with Sousuke in Iwatobi. It was around that time Rin realized that the love of his life wasn't satisfied with him. Sousuke started sleeping with others, specifically _women_. Rin thought he wasn't being a good lover and was desperate to keep him happy.

They came to a mutual agreement. Sousuke wanted Rin to do whatever he wanted for a change and he would stay with him. It was a simple condition; do what he wanted and Sousuke would love him. Simple as that.

Sousuke's fetishes were strange, he had to admit. He liked Rin to act more submissive in bed and even asked him to start growing out his hair a bit. The redhead didn't mind it as long as Sousuke was happy.

“Your hair's getting long, don't you want to cut it?” Gou asked one day when he and Sousuke came over.

“O-Oh, no. I like it like this.” He replied, running a hand through his hair. “What, do you like it?”

His sister narrowed her eyes, “If you're going to wear your hair long, you have to wash it more. Plus, you have to comb and brush it and fix the split ends....” As his sister began to ramble, his eyes landed on Sousuke, who was staring right at his sister with an uncharacteristicslly lustful look in his eyes.

Rin clenched his fists. Why was Sousuke looking at his sister like that? He knew his sister's body had changed since she complained about it 24/7, but that was still his sister. He had a lot of nerve doing that in front him.

The black-haired swim manager shifted uncomfortably and Rin couldn't help but notice the slight bulge in his pants. That asshole was turned on at the sight of his own sister! He watched as Sousuke excused himself to the bathroom, leaving the two alone. The black-haired man was in the bathroom for a solid ten minutes before coming out. Gou didn't even notice how long he was gone.

“Hey, we gotta go. We're supposed to be in a conference call in a few. Is it okay if we leave early, Gou?” He asked tersely.

“It's fine!” She gave him a smile, “Will you two come back for dinner?” She asked.

He stood, nodding stiffly, “Mmh, I'll think about it. Sousuke, let's go.”

* * *

The walk home was silent, the air tense between them. As soon as they returned home, Rin spun around, pointing an accusing finger at the male. “What the _fuck_ was that all about?” He demanded.

“I don't know–”

“You were watching my little sister! You fucking asshole, I saw you get turned on and you left to relieve yourself didn't you?” He jabbed a finger in his chest, “You always do shit like this!”

Sousuke could only avoid Rin's burning gaze, his usual stoic look on his face. “Look–” He started, only to be cut off by Rin.

“You're the one that's probably gotten her pregnant! You fucking bastard!” He raised his fist to punch Sousuke, but he caught it too easily.

“I'm not the father, Rin. You and I both know that.” Dropping his fist, he folded his arms over his chest, “I'm sorry for thinking about your sister like that.”

The redhead sniveled, gripping the front of his shirt, “Why don't you look at me like that, Sousuke? Am I not good enough for you? Please, I'll do anything...!” He started pulling off Sousuke's sweats, much to his reluctance.

“Rin, I don't– Ngh!” He stifled a groan as Rin took his entire member in his mouth.

“I'll be good Sousuke, please.” The redhead looked at him with pleading eyes, “Please.”

Sousuke stared down at Rin, who looked desperate for him to stay. _Pathetic._ He didn't stop Rin from sucking him off, nor did he stop him from having sex with him. He didn't kiss back when Rin did; he didn't even touch the redhead. It was an empty love and Sousuke knew that, but Rin didn't care.

The loveless night ended with Rin laying on Sousuke's chest, murmuring how much he loved him. Sousuke didn't respond, looking the other way when he spoke.

It was truly a pathetic love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rin, he just never gets a break, does he? SouRin is a primary ship in the story, they play a key role later on. ;)
> 
> I'll probably upload again tomorrow (it's a pain uploading things on my phone) and if not, then it seems everyone has to wait for two weeks. Hopefully by then I'll have some more chapters written! The next few chapters will focus on the boys and Chigusa and see how they're handling the news of Gou's pregnancy. Remember to leave kudos, it's very appreciated!


	5. v. remembrances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seijuurou remembers his time with Gou and contemplates about his ex-fiance's pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major trigger warning for mentions of attempted abortion and hints of depression.

Weeks went by. Gou's belly had grown to the point it was obvious that the girl was expecting. Nagisa visited often, leaving her with a strange novelty gift or a toy he'd found at the store.

Gou had stopped getting sick at the sight of food and stopped being horny, much to her and Seijuurou's dismay. So, Seijuurou's sex escapades turned into him helping her around the house.

“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” Gou asked, hand on her noticeably larger belly.

Currently, Seijuurou was up under the sink, trying to fix a broken pipe. “Don't worry, I'll be fi–” There was a thud and water began to spurt out from under the sink.

Gou could only watch as Seijuurou helplessly struggled, trying to stop the leak with his hand. It was quite a silly scene and Gou couldn't help but laugh at his antics.

Getting the pipe under control, Seijuurou came out from under the sink only to see Gou laughing. Tears formed in her eyes as she laughed and Seijuurou couldn't help but laugh with her.

Their laughter died down and Gou looked at Sei, beaming.

“I love you, Gou.”

The pregnant woman blushed and looked away, a sad smile on her face. “I know.”

* * *

 It wasn't the first time he told her he'd loved her.

The first time, Gou remembered, was when a year after they'd dated. It was a sudden and embarrassing confession, that left her in shock.

 

_Four Years Ago_

_“Good job, Rin!” Gou congratulated her older brother as he exited the building. “That was... amazing! You broke your own record!”_

_Sousuke nodded, “Yeah, you did great, Rin.”_

_Rin couldn't help but grin sheepishly as the two entered the city. “Aw, it was nothing guys, really. But I'm really glad you came to support me, Gou.”_

_“Nothing?” His little sister repeated, eyes sparkling, “It was nothing like I've ever seen before! It was a one of a kind sight! It was... It was... incredible!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air._

_“I think you're overreacting, Gou-san.” Sousuke couldn't help but laugh, “But she's right: you did great.” The black haired man stretched, letting loose a yawn, “I'm gonna go back to the room. You gonna take your sister back?”_

_Rin nodded, “Yeah, I'll see there in a few.”_

_The group split up, leaving the two Matsuoka siblings on their own. They'd entered the city and despite the late hours, the streets were crowded._

_Pulling his sister close, Rin said, “Stay close to me, okay?”_

_“I just turned twenty, brother. I'll be fine.” Gou waved her hands assuringly, before lightly gripping onto her brother's jacket, “I'll just hold onto like this...”_

_The two siblings traveled through the snowy city, their destination being the hotel Gou stayed at. The walked in silence, with the one of them occasionally asking a question._

_“How are you and the captain?”_

_“It's been years since you've both graduated high school yet you still call him captain.” The redhead sighed, before smiling widely, “We're fine. It's been a year and you still act so overprotective. We're both adults.”_

_“I know, but I'm still your older brother.”_

_The younger Matsuoka sibling pouted at her brother, “I can do fine all by myself!” She started animatedly talking about the last date she and Seijuurou went on, and Rin couldn't  help but smile at his sister's happiness._

_“You really like him, don't you G–” He stopped in his tracks, a grimace on his face._

_Gou stopped a few steps ahead, looking at her brother in confusion. “Are you alright? We're at the hotel.” She stated, before turning around. “Oh.”_

_“Gou-kun!” A familiar redhead screamed._

_Bundled up in winter clothing and holding up a megaphone was none other than Mikoshiba Seijuurou himself. Behind him, spelled in Christmas lights said “I love you, Gou”._

_Pedestrians stopped to stare at the sign and looked around in confusion._

_“Gou... Isn't that a boy's name?”_

_“He must be gay.”_

_“Poor Gou, he must be so embarrassed.”_

_Slowly, the crowd turned to face a very embarrassed Gou, whose hand was over her mouth._

_“Oh, it's a girl.”_

_“Lucky girl.”_

_“He's so attractive and she's so cute; it's a  perfect match.”_

_“Speak of the devil....” Rin muttered._

_“Do you like it, Gou?” Seijuurou jogged up to his girlfriend and took her by the hand, “I love you.”_

_Face red from embarrassment, Gou started to cry, bawling her eyes out. “I... It's...” She hiccuped, wiping her nose, “I love you too!”_

_The crowd around them clapped, before dissolving and leaving the two to their own devices._

_Her boyfriend grinned widely, “Gou, I–”_

_A fist met with her boyfriend's face and Gou yelped, watching the man writhe in pain. Rin stood over him, breathing hard._

_“Rin! Why did you hit him?” Gou demanded._

_“He made you cry.” Was her brother's simple response._

* * *

Seijuurou missed having sex with his (kinda ex??) girlfriend/fiance during the first few weeks of her pregnancy. It was strange, seeing the girl he was engaged to with a child that wasn't his; some days, he thought he was some sort of strange punishment from the gods and other days he couldn't believe that he was trying to put glue together their already-broken relationship.

Weeks later, Gou had reverted to her shy and normal state, like back when they first got together. She flinched at his kisses and even blushed at the slightest of touches. It was understandable though; she didn't know where the two of them stood and neither did he.

Her pregnancy was the biggest obstacle. She refused to tell him the father of the child and it made him jealous that some guy was the one that had gotten her pregnant. Not only was he jealous of the guy, but also really pissed at the dude for leaving her to fend for herself like that. Another complication due to her pregnancy was the fact that everyone seemed to hate her for her ‘adulterous’ crimes. As much as Gou seemed to act like it didn't bother her, it hurt to see that all of her good friends left her on her own. Even Chigusa seemed to look at Gou differently. He didn't know the extent of the damage until he came across her sitting on the bathroom floor one day.

There she was, sitting on the bathroom rug and holding a wire hanger. Her hands were clasped tightly around the item as she stared at it.

“Gou.” Seijuurou said darkly, putting a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly, letting the hanger clatter to the ground as she began to cry.

“I thought if I k-killed it, everyone would forget about this and we could act like nothing had happened. We could get married and move far away from here.” She smiled bitterly, staring at the unbent hanger on the ground. “It's probably too late to kill it, don't you think?” A wry laugh escaped her lips, "I'm such a fool.”

“Don't do this to yourself, Gou.” He stared down at the sobbing girl. He had to admit she looked pitiful on her position on the floor. It had been two day since he’d seen her and she smelled like she didn’t even shower since then. Hadn’t anyone seen her? “You need to shower.” He stated finally. “Did anyone visit you yesterday?”

The young woman shook her head, “Mama’s in Tokyo and Rin had to handle some business for swimming.” Tears welled up in her eyes, “I’m sorry...”

He reluctantly patted her back, before moving to the doorway, “Please shower.” He said, before exiting the room.

* * *

They didn't speak of what happened, but he didn't catch her in a vulnerable state again. But he did visit often to make sure she was taking care of herself.

When he wasn't trying to be with Gou, he worked at a grocery store on the other side of town. It was embarrassing, but work was work and he did his best.

The days without seeing Gou weren't very eventful. Occasionally a gossipy woman would pass through and ask about Gou and he would answer as truthfully as possible. ("No, I didn't come back in secret." "Yes, she's actually pregnant, it's not a fat suit." "No, she didn't have an affair with Chigusa. I don't think she did...") It was strange, seeing his ex-girlfriend pregnant with someone else’s child.

The father of Gou’s child was a whole different mystery. If there was one thing he’d learned about Iwatobi, it was that news traveled quickly. The unknown father of Gou’s child was on everyone’s lips; Seijuurou always heard the mothers entering the store gossip about it. Personally, Seijuurou had no idea who was the father, but he planned on finding out, one way or another.

After he finished work and visited Gou, he would come home and research. Constantly researching and studying was very uncharacteristic of the young man, but he was drawn to the mystery, as if he were a detective drawn to a case. He needed to figure out this mystery for his sake, whether Gou wanted him or not.

Seijuurou honestly didn't know who would’ve gotten Gou pregnant. He and Rin were the closest men in her life and Gou had even told him that she saw the Iwatobi boys and Sousuke as her brothers. Other than them, he was very sure Gou wasn’t close to anyone else. He wrote notes and lists for each person (including Rin; one could never be so sure), giving reasons they could or could or could not be the father. It wasn’t an easy task. There were some easy people to cancel out, like Rei.

Seijuurou remembered Gou saying that he had always made her uncomfortable, plus they constantly argued over the simplest things when they were with each other. So, Rei's name was put at the bottom of the list.

But most of them were hard, such as Makoto’s case. Everyone liked the primary school teacher, Seijuurou never heard a bad word about the big guy. What’s there not to love about him? Heck, Seijuurou even admitted to have a dirty dream about the brunette. (It was quite embarrassing to explain to Gou why he had been muttering her childhood friend’s name in his sleep.) Makoto hadn’t been there when Rin left for Australia, but he was known for being Gou’s go-to emotional support during her high school years and during the time he'd been stuck in America. (Sei hated admitting it, but it was Makoto was the one that helped him get Gou to go on a date with her.) Despite, being in a closely-knitted relationship with Haruka Nanase, Seijuurou believed that Makoto was easy to succumb to temptation; he spoiled his younger siblings rotten. He couldn’t say no to such a cute face as Gou’s–

“This is starting to turn biased.” The man murmured, running a hand through his orange hair. Looking over at the clock on his desk, he yawned. It was already past midnight. It was time for a well-deserved good night's sleep.

Flicking off the lights and changing into a pair of boxers, Seijuurou laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He was going to find out the father of Gou's child, even if it were to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this was a pain to edit. x.x Anyways, this is a last chapter (for sure) for the next two weeks and hopefully I'll be back with more updates! Until then, leave a kudos or a comment! xoxo


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